Sunday, December 16, 2007

camp

just had church camp on tues-fri
i still dont like games
and into the first 2 days
the games were wrecking camp for me...

i learnt that god's plans take time
i have heard it before
but never registered
it has been preached before
but because i have never experienced
they remained just preaching to me
i also learned a disdain for words
preaching wouldnt work
if they were just merely the words of a pastor
there needs to be something more
and on day 3
something more happened

the last camp was a disaster for me
god dissipated from my life
i no longer heard nor saw
no longer felt nor thought about
but life was successful
everything was smooth
i got more than i deserved
so life was good
but on day 3 the dissipation reversed
and i realized how much
even with a good life
i missed god
i cried my face out

is your life good today?
can it get any better?

Sunday, December 02, 2007

standard chartered

this morning i ran the stand chart 10k
but the focus here isn't the race but
rather what happened after
i was completely wasted
and feeling weak, cold
and the bad feelings get-able
it got worse and i thought i was gonna die
of course that was far from what was happening
the point is at that time it did feel so

and laying there almost motionless
i wondered to myself what happens next
some tears will be shed here and there i guess
or hope, at least
then i realised i wouldn't want any
if i died, i wanted those who cried to know something

that i died happy
i died doing what i loved to do
and let tears cease to fall
i'd pick dropping dead at 3 per k pace
over dying in my sleep peacefully at 83

true, i ran myself to death
but running made me live
i learned so much from running
and quite literally,
running kept me alive
my team mates kept me alive
and so much more would have turned out badly
if i never ran

i thought to myself as i laid there
if i were to die
someone should know this
now you know


on another note
my recent entries have been more
like contemplative and reflective
must be the result of reading the glass bead game
and the lack of training with the team
and being runaround idiots
i will wake up for training

Saturday, December 01, 2007

promise

...as he saw it coming. A promise. All around him, voices rang high, sounding out a final anthem in deep nostalgia, as if their spirits looked long and hard over their shoulders. A few tears peeped out of the corners of eyes. The chorus reverberated once again, and it seemed the many voices entwined into one. There was a resonance. A resonance he did not share. A promise he took no part of.

His voice stood apart from the rest, staring listlessly as the myriad of colors twisted into a spire, dancing to the rhythm of fire. Embers swept across the hall with walls that changed colors, destroying the past, forging a future. But for him the destruction was a welcome one. Promise nothing to him.

Cherish, not cherish the lost. For him he felt no such longing. He treasured and rubbished according to his valuation of the things and people around him, not according to the possession of them.

Now onwards he holds his dreams. Into the distance his goals are blur, and others claim them vaguer still. But others were them who imposed their own beings on his own, who took a consensus to live the way that they have lived. He holds a jewel that no one sees in the palm of his hands, believing by faith that it will ever stay, and into the fog he will tread a path, he will take the road not taken... as he always saw it going.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

prom

yesterday was our
anglo-chinese school (independent)
international baccalaureate world school's
pioneer batch's first ever, history-making
prom night, very aptly held at marriot
because there's a plaque outside it
displaying the phrase
"To God be the glory"

altho i've never been to no prom before
i thought it was really good
the food wasn't much to rave about though
we ac eX country ppl + vishnu ended up
eating swensens after the entire thing was over

regrettably i left my camera in the
performers/councilors room upstairs
and therefore have no pictures to show
i only hope all the people who did take pictures with me
put them up on facebook and tag it
pls don be selfish and hog them
lets all share the profits of selling my photos

sadly, forgetting to bring down the 2 cameras i brought
meant that our performance wasnt recorded
i tot we did ok but apparently most thought of us better
the things i would do for a video of our performance
it was the culmination of over 50hours of preparation
since exams ended
enough to complete the creativity hours section in cas
i never thought it was gonna be fantastic
even less so did feng
but if everyone else thinks it was closer to that
then that suits me fine

speaking of suits
i think i was in the running for cheapest prom outfit
gordan's doesnt count as an outfit

white shirt - tailored but free! asean schools one
white pants - my sec2 prefect pants still fit me...
i think it cost me $30?
white shoes - bata dress shoes! no one could tell
they were bata $60
white suit - $35 for tuesday to thursday
i rented it from a costume rental shop...
supposed to be a magician's jacket so
kevin was saying if i forgot my dance moves
i should just pull a pigeon or something out
anw mom altered the suit for me =p
she assured me it would hold but throughout
the night i kept feeling the threads snap hur
so i got fatter and fatter as the night wore on

on another note
i always stood by my principle
of non-obligatory helping
meaning if you get someone to do something for you
as a favour
and the person doesnt deliver
it's not his/her/its fault
they were never obliged to help
and i always held firmly to this
but yesterday, under the mist of disappointment
i let this value i always held, slip
i am sorry that forgot this
and i'm sure, though nothing was shown
that i caused some ill feelings
remember: no one is obliged to help
unless the word "help"
is used in a manner to put something nicely

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

hurts

Recently i downgraded my family holiday, lost training time with my team for these final few months, and lost time to spend with my girl for something that did not have to be. It was avoidable, and I was prepared to do it alone and save time and trouble. I relented. I then had ideas imposed on me and have been very much disregarded and even though at one point I was in a way vindicated, the aforementioned pattern did not cease. Simply put, I was getting stick for being accomodating and doing my best to satisfy what I did not have to satisfy. One day it culminated and for since a very long time ago, i felt anger.

God has called for us as Christians to mellow our tempers, not just on the outside but on the inside as well. I decided, as such, to resolve and douse that inner fire. As things turned out, following this bitterness was an improvement. Things got very much better and I am happy. Perhaps not so if I had decided to claim my rights and unleash my anger. Afterall, I had good reason. I believe in never having to drop anger on anybody, regardless whether you're entitled to doing so or not.

Have you lost your temper today? Have you loved your enemy today?

Have you loved your neighbour today?

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

me thus far

today most people finish their As
i on the other hand finished an rpg game
heh

since ib ended i've been busier
dancing 3 dances for xmas production
dancing for prom
dancing for camp
training for stand chart
training for beyond that
reading books i wanted to read during ib
getting rid of stuff i used to study for ib
playing lots lots lots of games
eating lots lots lots of rubbish


so there'll be more interesting entries coming up
including that asean schs one back in august
which is gonna be long to compensate for the long blogging absence

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

chinese karaoke

eh today school's chinese karaoke again
me only year6 very expectedly

long story cut short i got second again
this time wasnt my voice but my err
stage wind? tai feng.
means never create enough the atmosphere la
the champion guy bring gf on stage sia how to lose

and also was my lack of understanding of my song,
gan lan shu. or olive tree.
while i understand that it is an account
of the songwriter's wandering ways
and how it is for the birds, the streams and the grasslands
i fail to catch the crux of the song
which is why the songwriter
constantly dreams of an olive tree
and wanders because of this fictitious olive tree
and then emo about his/her wandering ways

but in any case
quite happy with the result i think its fine
oh and this year they decided to pun the prizes

first prize air tickets
second chicken essence
and third chap teh

in chinese it'll be like
ji piao
ji jing
ji mao or watever u call it sure got ji one.
and how did they further this pun?
they get two sec1s to dress up as chickens
and run around like headless ones
very amusing to watch indeed

well now that's over
it's time to dance
or something else that needs attention
hmmmm. i b exam-ining this sudden hesitation

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Sunday, October 14, 2007

last day of school

friday was the last day of school
last lessons last recess last end of school all
last time sit in class laugh work rot

on saturday morning i woke up
and i stared into the blank ceiling
and i thought to myself
there's no more school
there's finally no more school

i knew i never liked school
but i never expected this sense of release
i didnt know i was so tired of school

as experience will tell me
and contrary to what others will
i don think i'll come back to miss it again
i cherish what i have
and i will miss them before they end

there is no love loss between me and the school
not the people i guess
but the school generically

the cry of this generation
and the cause of all the adolescent rebellion
is that we are forced to grow up
but are not treated as such
much is expected of us and we have to live up to it
and they justify it by calling us gentlemen and ladies
but when it comes to treating us accordingly
it comes down to pinpointing mistakes
and then dropping expectations
that they don't fulfill themselves

study is a crime.
i am not a school person
those who cannot contain this rapid growth
become what we like to call -
delinquents.
or many of them at least

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

cold war

10 October 2007
#cq4667 - 2329
Report on the 6.7 Cold War

Definition:
(Cold War) A conflict between two groups due to air-conditioning.

Parties involved:
Top right girls
Bottom left guys

Battlefield:
6.7 Ephesus

Duration of conflict:
Some months

Origins of conflict:
(Geographical) Location of air-conditioning unit C of class 6.7 situated closer to TRG than BLG
(Temperature Tolerance) TRG low tolerance for cold, BLG low tolerance for heat

Therefore air-conditioning unit C cools low-heat tolerance TRG more than high-heat threshold BLG. TRG freezing, BLG sweating. Allocative efficiency not achieved. MC not equals to AR. Dispute over whether air-conditioning should be on or off.

Nature of warfare
Skirmishes: Alternate switching on or off of air-conditioning. Occasional guerilla warfare by attacking air-conditioning controls when the other party is not in class or having recess.


9 October 2007
Bilateral relations deteriorate. Stalemate at air-conditioning closet. TRG blocks off BLG's route to closet.

10 October 2007
Conflict resolved. Phantom peace keeping forces stuff one side of four sided air-conditioning facing TRG with toilet paper. Net cool wind from other three vents become stronger. Allocative efficiency is achieved.

Effects of war:
Inside jokes.

Monday, September 03, 2007

stupid seet

(refering to a picture of dharma 3 years ago)

seet: aye dharma last time damn slim ah now liddat
khing: ppl just give birth la u give birth i see how slim u stay
seet: eh my mother how steady so slim
khing: dharma just gave birth la ur mom last time was like when
seet: 6 years ago
khing: ur youngest sibling 6 years old?
seet: err no 8
khing: huh.

(seet stones)
(seet looks jacked)
(seet gives an awkward chuckle)




anw i came back from jakarta last last week
shali no collating the pictures
so will blog about that once the pictures arrive

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

why. because.

because rest feels best after work
because water tastes best after a run
because sitting down rocks after racing
because peace in peaceful times is not appreciated

shit happens.
otherwise no contrast.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

800m

i just watched my own 800m video
and while its a great video and all
with a great winner who has great style and all
i found the audio
amidst the distracting announcements
quite interesting
here is what i picked out:

[160m] victor: go khing!!

no surprise here
considering only his voice can travel that far

[220m] victor: come on khing!!

again, no surprise

[230m] vishnu: the blue guy is... khing, right?

err... yah...

[234m] seet: of course la... aiyoh... {something something}

at this point there was silence
no doubt seet must have said smtg stupid
maybe like hu hu ha ha

[315m] vishnu: come on AC!
[316m] victor: come on khing come on changming!!
[318-400m] random dispersion of come on khing/ming/ac

[550m] ms.lee: come on keep close changming keep close!

[600m] landdis: changming die already...
[602m] vishnu: aye khing kicking already eh

no la jogging only never see my face contorted in pain

[603m] landdis: khing die already...

no wonder ming and i did well
all his leg pain powers paid off

[690m] xide: GO KHING

[800m] seet: nice one la...

[a few seconds after finishing] someone: come on khing!!!!

Thursday, July 19, 2007

track finals the final

and so came the end
the final track finals

Shi Ronghua - 4:23:86
Kenneth Khing - 4:25:93

Khing: wa today ah all i wanted to do was for the first time whack you last part

Hua: wah u damn strong lah i damn scared last part u whack me

Khing: wah lau never whack u before eh

Hua: got what

Khing: when got. u tell me.

Hua thinks
Hua ponders
Hua tries to remember
Hua wonders
rinse and repeat

Hua: you wait ah i think first later sms u

till now it is 1 day 4hours
no sms
haha really never whack him before
somemore kena whack 2 seconds
it can only be ah hua

equation for the day:

P ( Khing is whacked in last 300m) = 1 x 10^(-148951984219842)
P (Khing is whacked in last 300m, t > 1 second) = Shi Ronghua

Sunday, July 01, 2007

played out ... reality bites

im just back from church
and i have to share
ignore this if u will
but it could just be for you

for a long while now
i've been a lousy christian
my faith has been left dangling
twisting in the worldly air currents

but at the very least
i knew i had to do smtg abt it
i wanted to get back
and i did try

i went to church
and genuinely tried to feel god again
i went through in my head
what god had done for me in the past
i even joined sp class
hoping that that was the step i had to take
so that i could hear and feel him again
but for too many months
or perhaps it has been a year
it has all come to naught

but in his own way
in his way that is sometimes irritating
cuz it completely fools you
things happen

dancing for god
was for me
just another way of saying dancing
we dance for many reasons
for fame, glory, expression of self
dancing for god
just dancing for god

i've attended the recent rehearsals dilligently
which is actually a very me thing
all i expected to do
was just to do that short dance
make sure i remember the steps
do them well
and do about 4 minutes worth of clubbing

the rehearsals however
had something deeper in store for me
the prayers we had were something different
i finally felt a familiar tingle
a nostalgic feeling
a reminiscent tugging of the heart
i felt again

today as i stood at the back of the hall
bowing my head as always
as the pastor asked for privacy
for ppl to raise their hands to accept christ
i had to for the first time
lift my head because i was part of the production
i saw for the first time in my life
ppl raising their hands to accept jesus
i had to cry
i just had to cry

i always thought i didnt care
abt whether ppl accepted christ or not
but i realize it does
deep down i always wanted to save my friends
today i came to realize
how much it means to me
to see the ppl i care abt
come to say 'jesus is my lord'
today my family didnt come
and there was a reason for that
after the performance i didnt see them
and i was very disappointed
and that told me something
it told me that what i thought
was other ppl's reason to live
is actually mine as well

it matters to me
i now safely say
it matters a hell lot to me
or a heaven lot.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Played Out! - Jason (PC version)

Hello world.
recently i've been pretty busy
amidst the gray adversity known as exams
rehearsing for my church's event on sunday
above is the trailer
in which i played a part in
although u can only see my face for .23 seconds
i assure u the work was far more than 23 minutes

anw
i usually don do this
but i'll say its worth ur time
so do come support
it's at my church's err
(for lack of better vocab) new campus
at paya lebar
directions ask from me
or any friendly LTA henchmen at paya lebar mrt

as u can see i stretched my blog
to accomodate the video
and i shun bian changed the picture above
which everybody complained cldnt be seen

Saturday, June 23, 2007

me

Who Am I?

My name is Khing Zhen Ze Kenneth. My friends simply call me Khing. Acquaintances hardly pronounce it right. It is a "hing" with a "k".

I live a lie. To myself, and to everyone else. That is then.

I have grown onto the lie. Or the lie has grown onto me. The lie is now a truth. I live a truth. This is now.

I have friends. I have a girlfriend. I am my girlfriend's boyfriend. I do not have best friends. Nor do I have close friends. I have a family. I have brothers I never had.

To those I do not know; I am scary and unresponsive. To my brothers; I am different. To my girlfriend; I am her boyfriend. To runners around; I am many things - good and bad.

I do not crave attention. Nor do I lust after the tangible material. I seek admiration; fuel for the ego, for the self. I am a solo act. You can see from the things I excel at. I am a team player. My team is my all. You can see from the things I excel at. Some of them.

I like to walk through time. I believe time does not destroy. I know time resolves. I resent that I cannot walk back in time. But i rejoice that time cannot reverse.

I am a philosophical atheist in thinking, a Buddhist in self. But still I am a Christian. I spell God with a capital "G". My faith is firmly in Christ. "Faith is believing that which you cannot see". I believe against what I see. Believing that people walk mainly on hands. That is my value of faith.

I am a complex human. Just like everyone else is. I am no better than the next person. Nor the next person me. But I am better to the people who are better to me. Like the better boyfriend to my better girlfriend. I am Kenneth Khing. Or just plain Khing.

Monday, June 18, 2007

yesterday was essentially a good day for me
firstly, i took part in my first ever
public 100m race
although i wasnt first
it was a first official timing for me
add to the fact
that i did not at first fall of the starting blocks
made it even better
because the first time i tried blocks
i fell on my face literally
so anw it was a good, and first,
return of 11.9 which is not too shabby
for a crosser

where am i going with all the firsts?
of course, i did finish first somewhere
sadly, it wasnt my first
ok not sadly but happily it was my second win
and it quite made my day
cuz there were alot of last minute sign ups
which included some rather fast ppl
instead of the at first (hah!) dull lineup

and finally DE highlight of the day
the other day tham gave me some
unglam, unflattering and embarrassing pictures
of vishnupriya d/o rajkumar
of course, she gave me the
thams up to splatter them on vish
which i did
and because it was so precious
i must blog it in detail:

[Act 1 Scene 1]
setting: black

{vishnu is seen engrossed in conversation}

enter Khing & Victor

{victor stands at a distance and smiles}
{khing sneaks up behind vishnu, pictures in hand}

khing: {taps vish shoulder}
vishnu: yes?
khing: {places pictures infront of her face}

there is a long pause
a storm looms
silence...
more silence...
silent until sian...

vishnu: {screams, chases khing}

exit khing, vishnu

{victor stands at the distance and smiles}

[End of Act 1 Scene 1]

Monday, June 11, 2007

training

if my tagboard is anything to go by
there is the misconception
that i have not been training
i frown upon all u detractors

in a way
i am like david beckham
misunderstood, underrated
and most importantly
handsome

but while my faithful taggers
are suck blood spit people -ing
there is, a slight tinge of truth

just yesterday
the magic quartet of
kevin, xide, seet and i
took part in the mr25 4x11.3k relay
while kien mau n mok combined
to beat us in their 2x22.6k runs with
a 3 min deficit
we nevertheless were victorious
in our category

but the lack of saturday trainings
as caijing has so kindly pointed out
had taken its toll
today i sit here
ashamed that my once
feared shoulder muscles
and ripping back muscles
are now aching from a long run

but i must point out
that yesterday was a 10k pb
and despite the lack of fitness
my 800 is still not too shabby
i am still fast my friends
just as david beckham is still good
and as well, handsome

perhaps for me
it is puberty part2
where i will once again
(pls pls pls pls)
grow muscles faster
(OH PLS MAKE IT TRUE)
and grow taller again

of course the same cannot be said
for beckham
but if it is true
it disturbs me

Monday, May 21, 2007

record pee

today i drank too much water
actually i didnt
just that i didnt pee enough

and so it was
a pee filled bladder i carried
onto a people filled bus
down traffic filled orchard road
and i was only halfway there
east coast was a good 40mins away

at this point
the pee level in my bladder was really high
like my height liddat
(i assure you, that is quite some pee)
but i persevered nonetheless

i alighted at my stop
but did not bother
to hold the pee till i touched home.
recent enlightenment by timmy
revealed that holding back pee for too long
can result, as in his brother's case,
kidney problems.
also, i was held back by memories
memories only 3 or 4 years back
when i awoke on the bus
only to find my dark blue pants
an even darker shade of blue

thus i peed at the bee pee toilet
ok it was mobil
but bee pee sounded punny enough
anw, it was a record pee
from the point the pee
left its holding area
i had time to change track on my mp3
listen almost half the song
used my hand (ONE free hand) to off it
chuck it into my shirt pocket
before the river ceased

bliss it was
and satisfaction
at another record fallen

Friday, May 18, 2007

music

i've a sudden urge all of a sudden
to suddenly talk about
something that has caught me -
suddenly.

recently i've been listening
to quite a bit of my music
recent, and not recent.

while i am not one who checks out
the latest albums and what not
i do check on my comp library
re-check out my old tunes

and this impulse
has led to some sort of temporal craze
and therefore here is my all-time top 10

in order of merit,
  1. Tisbury Lane (Mae)
  2. The Magic Key (One-T)
  3. Kuai Le Chong Bai (Wilber Pan)
  4. Just To Be The Next To Be With You (Mr Big)
  5. Call And Return (Hellogoodbye)
  6. Tao Yan Hong Lou Meng (David Tao)
  7. Save Tonight (Eagle Eyed Cherry)
  8. Stuck (Stacie Orrico)
  9. You Make Me Wanna (Blue)
  10. Qia Zham (Some Hokkien Dude)

Monday, May 14, 2007

burdens

recently fuiyi pointed out to me
that im constantly carrying alot of stuff
i have my ginormous bag that's bigger than me
with the hweaking big attached shoe bag that sticks out
and then i carry yet another shoe bag
sometimes i have my jacket draped over my shoulder
and of course there is my trusty mp3 player
hanging around my neck
with the cables dangling all over the place

it is a perfect picture
of a man on a mission
my bag could very well
be the sister doraemon pocket
enabling me to whip out whatever i need
whenever i need it
perhaps that is the shoe bag's job;
my bag is meant for me to sleep in
my jacket is actually a well hidden multi-purpose suit
it keeps out rain, wind and doesnt look stained
even if u spill curry on it cuz its dark blue
it keeps in heat, conceals my mp3 player
and not forgetting holding back my ripping muscles =)
what about my mp3 player?
it plays music, man.

but underneath all that i wonder
am i just physically burdened?
tied down not merely just by my earphone's wires?
why am i putting down the thing i enjoy most -
training with my team
for what i never appreciated, such as studying?
afterall i do aspire to be a coach
and it would do me no harm boosting my portfolio

my bag has grown; the books are more
my shoe bag no longer hold my running shoes;
they hold the slippers i wear to go straight home
i do not need a jacket when i run;
but when i throw it around my neck
it reminds me of a strait jacket.
and my mp3 player?
it plays cool tunes, dude.

in the end though i am still me
no one's forcing me to study;
my parents have always adopted
an indifferent attitude
i guess it is down to my ego
for very long now
my ego has kept me going
when my team is not involved.
without it i'll probably
be half as successful as i am now
whether how much that remains
is substantial or not,
is for another day to discuss

but khing is still khing
and khingky i will still be
i will change, make no mistake
stagnation is anti-maturity
but search deep enough
and you will still find khing

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

magic

sometime in the middle of january 2002
i was forced from track into cross-country
to me it sounded like some lame cca
of which i found very much contrary to in the weeks that followed
it wrecked your legs and wasted them
inflicted indescribable pain to your muscles
tormented your lungs and twisted your nerves
it wasnt lame. it made u lame.

bad jokes aside, i hated it
there was no sense running your guts out
putting them back in
and running them all out again
(rinse and repeat)

but time after time
bongard forced me back
it was a blatant use of terror
like in chinese history where chiang had his white terror
i trained on sheer fear alone
but that fear would one day wear out
it would one day not sustain
this overwhelming pain that is cross-country
soon, my fear disintegrated
and in its place, something,
and a false love for running

why false, one may ask?
for one, i still dislike long runs
i still want to quit when the going gets tough
and i loathe perspiring

what was definite was that i wanted to train
i looked forward to trainings
i just wanted to be there

it took long enough for me to realize
what that something was
i came to realize
that running did not take centre stage
it was something else
it was something that put the acX
into acXperience
it was somebody
it was somebodies

it was my team
it is my team
it will always be my team.

in life, people often remark
"time pass very fast lei"
but somehow, it never was so for me
it wasnt as if i had a tough life or anything
i consider my life rather smooth sailing
but somehow, everything was slow
only acX sped things up
and more than that, it saved my life
it happened in july 2004
but that is another story for another time
my upcoming baptism perhaps

it has been a magical 6 years
through this journey
down this road
down this "path less taken"
in a magic school bus

last wednesday
our time for running cross-country came to an end
but to this team
we have no end
as seet put it
"we are the champions, my friend"
not in the title sense though that would have been nice
but in that we have come away from it all
with the full acXperience -
the pain, the euphoria, the depression,
the joy, the laughs, the tears,
the times, the team and the memories...
they are all ours to keep

- to kevin ng
you will always be the captain. my captain. you never had the chance to lead this team to victory, only agonizingly close far too many times. but that doesn't matter, it really doesn't. i have come to see that. you are my captain, and you have made it so. and that is enough. being jackasses, sadly or not, is perhaps the hallmark of our batch. perhaps we were not meant to win titles. but i cherish what we have, and i hold dear to my heart. i bid you love this team for as long as you know love, and between all of us, may that love come to something. something good that must come from love, no darkness.

-to low xide
for the longest while, you've failed to believe. believe in something you couldn't do. you said to me that you're the little mixture of everything and that may well be true. but you have grit in abundance. a little more faith, a little more determination. i wish i had more of those. for years i've seen you, i see the same will emanating from you. but more than before, this season for you was unbelievable. yours is what mental strength is supposed to be, even if u do undermine yourself. unbelievable. but you didn't believe that as well. perhaps you rarely believe. but believe today, that this team will not fade away, weathered by time. believe, dear brother (that i never had), and make it so. it is ours to keep, more important it will be ours to make. the bells will only ring for he who believes, and i have believed. the ball, as they say, is in your court. ball. hah.

-to kenneth seet
too many times, we wish there was an end task or a shut down to you. we longed to see not responding in brackets on your forehead. but all those were not meant to be. but in a wicked, sick and twisted sort of way, i'm glad they didn't. i remember a cross meeting that took place at the end of sec3 when you were still new, not irritating and somehow rather proper. what you said reverberated throughout my entire running career and always helped me to believe in what i was doing, kept me going and going with this team, forever etched in the depths of my heart. after a few weeks of training, you said "i feel there is a bond in this team that i never saw elsewhere before. it feels special and that's what keeps me going". perhaps that still keeps you going as it has kept me. i pray that it will bring us beyond where we are, and where we could possibly imagine. i pray i will not hit the cltr+alt+delete so rapidly when the time comes. but i probably will.

-to benjamin lee changming
i felt that for some time now, you've been somewhat neglected. i dunno if you've felt it, but somehow i feel so. there wasn't reason to; both you and i know that we pwn kevin ng hands down at 800 and 1500 and that the taunting between us is the real deal. well perhaps it was down to quietness. there never was much noise coming from you. but somewhere somehow someway, at least, i began to sit up and take note. i don't know when it started, but i heard something. i recalled seb telling me that you were a fighter. not easy to see but it does come out when you take to running. i saw, and realized it was true. i began to hear something. something resonated in me. i still search for what it is, but i do know it is something we share in common and i can readily relate to. i want to relate to it and so to you. and hopefully this search will stretch way after i leave school and beyond the army camp (where you don't have to go).

-to victor tan
you know how you've done so far in terms of running. and i'm sure you're not happy with it. but keep at it (though not too much) and eventually you'll get your top5. people may say you have no talent, but i want you to remember that i say talent is make believe. we make it because we believe, and so can you. apart from that, you do make a difference, running nats or not. you bring an extra quality to the team (like nipple bleeding) that is special and unique in itself. this is the same thing xide and i told you one training last year, and you must remember that. because after all, the great runners form not the team, for our team make great the runners.

-to sebastian koh
one fine champion. one fine team. a strong bond. one single dream. i've always loved that poem you wrote. not just because of all the literary devices and what not, but for the fact that it epitomizes my feelings towards this team. it's yours to lead now as we leave and go. and i hope you will uphold the words in your poem and keep this team burning for very long to come. i am always afraid that we will take the ess(s)ence of acX with us as we leave, and it will be my greatest joy, if you can extend it to the future generations. it is all in your hands now, and i am sure it is in good hands. make it so, and where appropriate next season, make believe, and make belief come true.



for the rest whom i've not mentioned
i do not know you enough
to write something i really mean
but hopefully come the years
i can truly say that i am proud of u all
this team we leave with you now
must prosper in its own right
and that may not come in the form of titles
but should be in the way of that something
something that perhaps
no one really put into words
and is really for you to feel and fathom

Thursday, April 19, 2007

after cross

it's the end
and it's all over

no more cross ever again
unless heaven forbid
i do retain
heh

i'm gonna miss trainings
for sure i will
3:18s and so
while there's still track to come
it's never the same training for cross

so we didnt win
but i must say it was an open battle
and we were still on course till the last 1k or so

the difference this year is that there weren't tears
perhaps one or two regrets
but generally we were all alright
it's not that we weren't expecting to win at all
i think we were always in with a shout
and today's race did nothing to dispel that

but it was what we found
over the course of these few years
it sounds cliched
and perhaps very fake
but after years of thinking that way
i've come and we've come
to thinking perhaps, otherwise

and what i want to do is just to type it here
also for the sake of the vj team
if they do come here
the ah hua and the farrel
that cross-country is not all about the title
sure, we set out to do it
and when we don't we have nothing to show for it
and that means everything we've done is nothing
but i feel that though cross is over
the team will never be
the title wouldnt mean so much to you
if the team didnt mean anything to you
team spirit is not a stepping stone to cross glory
cross glory is a stepping stone to team spirit,
the ultimate prize of cross

the title is lost
but the memories are for yours to keep
the team will live on in your life forever
and that is the gift that comes of your curse

Sunday, April 08, 2007

contacts

recently i've been wearing contacts
(not the ones u put in ur fone)
to get used to them before cross comes
(holy week but, no! not that cross)
cuz my glasses are loose (not promiscuous)
and the optical ppl don wanna tighten it
cuz the lens got crack scared they make spoil

(many bad puns later)

so anw
i whipped out my old monthly contacts
slipped them on for a week
and my eyes turned to shrivelled prunes
err as in became very dry

so i bought daily focus
which were really good
cuz they're so moist they get really slippery
u cant even take then out properly
of cuz thats not a good thing
but they're so moist i bet u cld slp in them

newaez i was telling nice abt how good they were
cuz he faced the same dry eyes problem
just as i got to the best part about the contacts
i blinked
and then nice saw something fall out of my left eye
and that was after 1 hr only
so i went around with one good eye the whole day
play lan also close one eye
BUUUTTTTT still pwn kevin ng the noob

newaez the other one fell out
but at a reasonable 14 hrs

still, focus dailies rock
and should be the contacts in everyone's eye
sweet stuff those contacts
in a way, they're like eye candy

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Epic Showdown

Drip, drip, drip.

Crimson splats dot the dry, red track. "Ge Garisan" has gone. Crouching, waiting, poised as silent hawks. The kill is ripe.

Hark. Out. Steps, rapid quick fire. Claw the rubber. Flex, tense, push-off.

Pound and pound round the bend they ran. Two stacked together. One awaits along. Out and out, two pull around a monstrous lap. Blazing, the sun strikes their backs. Blazing, their feet rip the track. Out and round they lean to left, creeping behind a silent threat. They and he aside. Out the curve they hug the white, out the curve they hug the bit line. Roars aplenty the two are foregone, poor the third for one last swansong. The wind is screaming, screeching, crying.

"Slow down!"

Fifty-nine not too plenty, perfect. The battle is over, number two is two. Down, left down to go but two is still two. One is one but how high, how out a one? Demons flashing, wailing, moaning. Hips a-wrecking down, left down. In line with the line, yellow line, white line. Imps are coursing through the veins but the gates are still holding, the white line in sight. Flex, tense, drop-off.

Through the tape, a twist of the wrist. Sweet saliva, stemless elation. O, the legs are heavy, yet steps are light and soft. O, the mind is swirling, but with colours of gold and red.

No, no. The battle ignited by the fighter's creed. Silence no more, the silence is heard. Jaws of silver sink into red. Bloodied pushing, bleeding roots. Oh the mighty fall this day.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

shitting

this is a follow up to yesterday's post
and yet again, to start off,

~!@#$%^&*()_+{}|":?>?><":|}{+_)(*&^%$#@!~`/.,[]\';=
~!@#$%$*)":>`=-\';.[`_)(!@#'\,`
~!@#$%^&*()_+{}|":?>?><":|}{+_)(*&^%$#@!~`/.,[]\';=
~!@#$%$*)":>`=-\';.[`_)(!@#'\,`
~!@#$%^&*()_+{}|":?>?><":|}{+_)(*&^%$#@!~`/.,[]\';=
~!@#$%$*)":>`=-\';.[`_)(!@#'\,`
~!@#$%^&*()_+{}|":?>?><":|}{+_)(*&^%$#@!~`/.,[]\';=
~!@#$%$*)":>`=-\';.[`_)(!@#'\,`

as i've said
my bowels nowadays have somehow
just mysteriously somehow
acquired my speed
and have been releasing
more than its fair, daily share
of organic human waste matter
or, sai.

today as i visited yet again
the cleanest toilet in the vicinity
of the track which is the squash court toilets
i was disgusted at the state of the toilet seat

it is imaginable how some
cannot aim their pee properly
but at today's sight
i am extremely perplexed
at how some miss their shit

ding ding ding 100 points
yes that is correct
there was sai on the seat of the sai pit
albeit only a few crumbs
but enough to gross the shit back into me
also
the shit had obviously matured
and was rock solid, stuck to the seat
not exactly rock, but enough to prevent
my measly piece of toilet paper
from wiping it off

in the end it was hopeless
cuz while some could be rubbed off
they left a brown trail in their absence
which was somewhat even worse
however the shit was riproaring
ready to soar on wings like flying pigs

therefore in a moment of genius
i pulled out even more toilet paper
and made an improvished toilet seat cover
and shat my shit happily

but from this we can very obviously see
that there are ppl out there
who are a shame not only to man
but woman alike
shame on u all. grr.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

pee

it is with deepest regrets
that i have to blog an entry such as this one
but i've had enough, just enough
of ppl peeing on the toilet seats

firstly, to set the mood for this entry
$%^&*()_+!@#@($)!_@*&^@_)+@($*&^!%@$!&@
*()@*%^@&*@#!)@(#!@#:><<}~%^&*@(!@#%*&^
_)!@#~``,/';.[]\|!)_@(#$(!@#_+&(^%!@#">

with that done,
we have laid down the underlying theme
and sentiments to this
extremely serious blog entry

it has now become my inherent habit
and almost a ritual
to, before i lay my stunning butt
on the toilet bowl to take a crap,
do a professional cleaners job
and clean the pee-infested toilet seat
with a measly, ineffective piece of toilet paper

this complaint comes at a time when
my bowels have somehow sped up
and i take a shit one time too many a day
for no particular reason i can think of

it also adds to the frustration
when the waste matter that resides
in my humble home for the shit
a.k.a. the anus
is filled to its smelliest brim,
when the shit is screaming in agony to be released
as a wrongly-accused prisoner would ,
and also when the outraged shit
is disgruntled at the lack of space and overcrowding
and begins to tear through my fragile piece of flesh
which i would like to call - "the gate"

but enough about the gate
this entry is dedicated to
he who is not a marksman

it is sad
and a completely utter disgrace to males
for these boh boh shooters
to anyhow spray their pee on toilet seats.
this is despite on the average
a couple of decades of regular daily training
i say to you:
use a straw
not to bring up the liquid
but to release
if u think its too painful
pls do use the urinal instead
where it is at point blank range
and far easier to aim

yet it is evident in public toilets nowadays
that some do miss at point blank range
like cristiano ronaldo
not the pee, but a shot at goal i remembered
that hit the floodlights instead of the goal 2m away.
toilet floors burn and rot from these acidic pee
and its lucrid odour does at times
do enough to stop all that raging faeces from coming out

perhaps this entry might have been not so serious
"yes this is entertainment,
but the hazards are real."
if u cant shoot straight,
pls, try it at home.

Monday, March 05, 2007

temper

i've never really understood what anger is
i also thought it was, to all degrees,
controllable.

so for since i started to remember
i always sought to control it
but i found that there was no such need to
it's not so much a lack of a temper
because deep down i get pissed and aggressive
from say time to time
but i guess it was more of a nonchalance

but since then my temper has escalated
though still better than most i know
we're all a bunch of angry ppl i guess
but that didnt matter
i didnt care

until i did have to care
the ppl around me, the ones that really mattered
held blazing angers in them
to put it in a line,
it was something i disregarded completely
in the ppl i regarded immensely importantly

i never could fathom why one couldn't control anger
but it didnt matter for a very long time
however soon it became apparent
that i could not live in a temperless world

i believe that it takes the strongest
to hold their tempers
because it is just too easy to release one
i believe that it is the wisest
who keep their angers in check
because it destroys the greatest things
the things that took so long to build
the things that we hold dear to our hearts
the only things that we have left

but that is only for me to believe in and accept

Sunday, February 11, 2007

lesson

whilst streaming down the ECP yesterday
trying in vain and screaming in agony
drowned in desperate tears
as cab after cab flashed passed but never stopped
i grew again as a person

it is always my belief
that troubles are meant to grow you
whenever you're hurt,
whenever you feel pain inside
whenever you cry
you grow

being a christian
it is also my firm belief
that God knows how much you can take
else he would send you an angel
as he had sent me 2 yesterday
in any case
i trust my God grew me again
while it is easy for sceptics and atheists
to draw upon the examples
of building jumpers
and mental patients
i say it is God's plan
while that is not concrete to say the least
i think if we could understand
we might as well be God
and if everything were in place to believe in a God
what then is the value of faith?

but even as i mulled over the distress
my limit was to be stretched
i was to be dealt another blow
as i slumped shattered along one underpass
a sensation came all of a sudden
i felt a need to move, to go somewhere
i then crossed paths with a gentleman
at that brief moment we saw each other
something twitched in me
and i believe twitched in him as well
we parted, only for another 10minutes
when i found my wallet had fallen out my bag
and so i managed to meet him at a bus stop
when he could otherwise have:
(1) taken the wallet
(2) went to the opposite bus stop
(3) do his usual afternoon run
(4) mail it to me
(5) gone to the correct bus stop

not only did he return my wallet
he sensed something not at peace in me
and for that brief period
i unloaded everything

yet the damage was still whole
though i knew i could recover myself
some gap somewhere would never close
so again i slumped
at the steps outside katong cc

but she left church
and with what little she had left
she spent it on a cab
and came to sit alongside me outside katong cc
that gap could not remain unhealed

at the end of the day
my mortal wounds are healed
as Jesus had healed ages ago
and i grew stronger as a person
now i can better look strife in the eye
and stand against the current of adversity

how are you coping today?

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

nice birthday

kevin choy ng! turns 18 today!
today was the culmination of the many, long
days months! of preparation

it all started very very long ago
i emphasize on the very
which started calling citycab a.k.a. uncle ng
whether nice wld stay home or stay boarding
den the calling of ccw ask if can go boarding
then the planning of the present
and finally,
the plan to make a big hoohah over vic's bdae
and keep nice's one quiet

only i think nice didnt realise the quiet part
but apart from that everything went quite well
here's the breakdown to nice's alchoholability age

Project Nice 18 : 30 January 2007'

Project Co-ordinator: (DPM) Low Xide

-Mission one
"Guard The Relic"
implications: Kevin Ng not to see present
objective1: deliever to Sebastian Koh via Victor Tan
objective2: avoid Kevin Ng
agent: (BGL) Kenneth Khing
method: wake up 20mins earlier, come sch earlier
--------MISSION ACCOMPLISHED--------

-Mission two
"Complete the puzzle"
implications: ZhangZhiming & GaryLim unaware of plans
objective1: get Zhang & Lim to write on present
objective2: avoid Kevin Ng
agent: (PM-in-trng) Sebastian Koh
method: Kevin Ng too stupid to know, just seek out targets
--------MISSION ACCOMPLISHED--------

-Mission three
"Plough The Land"
implications: Kenneth Khing to end school 1 hr later
objective1: stop Kevin Ng from going home
objective2: delay Kevin Ng's return to boarding
agent: (MOP) Kenneth Seet
method: slow, slow, very very slow long run
--------MISSION ACCOMPLISHED--------

-Mission four
"Lay The Mines"
implications: limited time, limited boarding space
objective1: hide present
objective2: notify Kevin Ng of present's presence
objective3: hide selves for surprise
agents: (DPM) Low Xide, (DIC) Victor Tan
method: Place present under Kevin Ng's bed
______ Write note on displaced Macbook
______ Hide in the toilet
--------MISSION ACCOMPLISHED--------

-Mission five
"Timed Strike"
implications: Kevin Ng might be too stupid to read MacBook
objective1: know when Kevin Ng is in the room
objective2: surprise him without being exposed in toilet
agents: (PM-in-trng) Sebastian Koh, (DPM) Low Xide, (BGL) Kenneth Khing, (DIC) Victor Tan, (Auds) Lee Changming
method: just whack
--------MISSION ACCOMPLISHED--------

-Bonus Mission (unlock with presence of Victor Tan)
"Assasinate The President"
implications: not birthday-like
objective1: decimate Kevin Ng's nipples
objective2: smash something through Kevin Ng
objective3: flatten Kevin Ng
agent: (DIC)/(Chief) Victor Tan and gang
method: twist with pliers and exchange
______ smash present through Kevin Ng
______ taupok, extremely terribly
--------MISSION NOT UNDERTAKEN--------

Monday, January 29, 2007

so long

i want to blog but there's ntg to blog abt
so long neh blog le should have smtg to blog abt
but maybe lose the magic touch alr

anw im just blogging for the sake of blogging
for all my fans out there awaiting eagerly
for my next and next and next entries
hanging onto every one of my
magnificent and wisdom-filled words

life for now though
has been hectic but relatively smooth
the work is still ever present
is still fall like rain
and comes whenever teacher pui saliva
but that isn't really that huge a problem
so schools ok

training on the other hand
has been marvelo-fantabulous
is got the hweeling
not just me but also the rest
hweel super positive abt this year oso
seems God has put everything in place
but i guess we will never know till d-day
but for now is just cruz-ing for us
and hweeling hwine hwor now

dance is just as busy
we've only so little time to practice
for y=mx+c
think its really good though
should be better than launch

newaez thats all for now
tomorrow is another day
duh

Saturday, January 20, 2007

moved

this comp is up
and thus marked the completion of my house moving

plenty plenty is have happened
between my last post and now
happy happy sad sad
nice nice not nice

it is a tale too many to tell

therefore they shall not be told
and hopefully my wonder brain
will be able to remember every bit of it

tomorrow however will be a busy day
actually initially is originally not supposedly to be busy one
ang afternoon call me tomorrow go make notice board
like early early morning
sun havent come up shine on pi gu yet

then after that wearing sch u go church
han thinking is confirm praying for sch i think so too
pity her la have to parade around in -
The Anglo-Chinese School
(Independent) International
Baccalaureate World School
girls uniform
summore dunno how yeo convince her to wear the scarf
then he and jason wear the bomber
tmr ppl see alr really got urge to pray for us

need sleep now
not typing coherensly
later oversleep notice board making