me

Who Am I?

My name is Khing Zhen Ze Kenneth. My friends simply call me Khing. Acquaintances hardly pronounce it right. It is a "hing" with a "k".

I live a lie. To myself, and to everyone else. That is then.

I have grown onto the lie. Or the lie has grown onto me. The lie is now a truth. I live a truth. This is now.

I have friends. I have a girlfriend. I am my girlfriend's boyfriend. I do not have best friends. Nor do I have close friends. I have a family. I have brothers I never had.

To those I do not know; I am scary and unresponsive. To my brothers; I am different. To my girlfriend; I am her boyfriend. To runners around; I am many things - good and bad.

I do not crave attention. Nor do I lust after the tangible material. I seek admiration; fuel for the ego, for the self. I am a solo act. You can see from the things I excel at. I am a team player. My team is my all. You can see from the things I excel at. Some of them.

I like to walk through time. I believe time does not destroy. I know time resolves. I resent that I cannot walk back in time. But i rejoice that time cannot reverse.

I am a philosophical atheist in thinking, a Buddhist in self. But still I am a Christian. I spell God with a capital "G". My faith is firmly in Christ. "Faith is believing that which you cannot see". I believe against what I see. Believing that people walk mainly on hands. That is my value of faith.

I am a complex human. Just like everyone else is. I am no better than the next person. Nor the next person me. But I am better to the people who are better to me. Like the better boyfriend to my better girlfriend. I am Kenneth Khing. Or just plain Khing.