pee

it is with deepest regrets
that i have to blog an entry such as this one
but i've had enough, just enough
of ppl peeing on the toilet seats

firstly, to set the mood for this entry
$%^&*()_+!@#@($)!_@*&^@_)+@($*&^!%@$!&@
*()@*%^@&*@#!)@(#!@#:><<}~%^&*@(!@#%*&^
_)!@#~``,/';.[]\|!)_@(#$(!@#_+&(^%!@#">

with that done,
we have laid down the underlying theme
and sentiments to this
extremely serious blog entry

it has now become my inherent habit
and almost a ritual
to, before i lay my stunning butt
on the toilet bowl to take a crap,
do a professional cleaners job
and clean the pee-infested toilet seat
with a measly, ineffective piece of toilet paper

this complaint comes at a time when
my bowels have somehow sped up
and i take a shit one time too many a day
for no particular reason i can think of

it also adds to the frustration
when the waste matter that resides
in my humble home for the shit
a.k.a. the anus
is filled to its smelliest brim,
when the shit is screaming in agony to be released
as a wrongly-accused prisoner would ,
and also when the outraged shit
is disgruntled at the lack of space and overcrowding
and begins to tear through my fragile piece of flesh
which i would like to call - "the gate"

but enough about the gate
this entry is dedicated to
he who is not a marksman

it is sad
and a completely utter disgrace to males
for these boh boh shooters
to anyhow spray their pee on toilet seats.
this is despite on the average
a couple of decades of regular daily training
i say to you:
use a straw
not to bring up the liquid
but to release
if u think its too painful
pls do use the urinal instead
where it is at point blank range
and far easier to aim

yet it is evident in public toilets nowadays
that some do miss at point blank range
like cristiano ronaldo
not the pee, but a shot at goal i remembered
that hit the floodlights instead of the goal 2m away.
toilet floors burn and rot from these acidic pee
and its lucrid odour does at times
do enough to stop all that raging faeces from coming out

perhaps this entry might have been not so serious
"yes this is entertainment,
but the hazards are real."
if u cant shoot straight,
pls, try it at home.