Trust

A few days back I wanted to go for a run. Crossing the stream that runs outside my house, I noticed from the corner of my eye a little birdie swimming towards me. Upon closer inspection, I realised that it was struggling quite abit. I scooped it out of the water, and it trembled in my hands. I could tell it was trying to flee, but lacked the strength to do so. Its feet tried clawing at my hands as i laid it down on my house patio. I left it there for it to dry, thinking it might fly away after that, so I went to run.

Coming back from my run, I realised the little bird creature had snuck under the table, hidden among the table cloth. I fed it some ikan bilis and left it there. After a while I decided to pat the little thing, but it shirked away and shrieked at me.

Suddenly God spoke to my heart.

I scooped you up from the raging depths and gave you life. I cared for you and provided for your needs. I wanted but to touch you, yet you withheld yourself from my hand and cried out against me.

The bird hopped out from under the table and peered at me. The past 2 months have been an awakening for me; I have never heard my God speak so clearly to me. I have been called for a time such as this, but I remained apprehensive. I looked at the little creature and thought about everything that has happened - two entire months of coincidences, of very focused coincidences. I named the little thing Trust.


I watched Trust hop towards a little corner where it looked really comfortable.




Slowly, Trust sat down on its legs. I watched as its little claws came together and its little feet joined, like in prayer.




So I prayed along and realised that finally, God, I really believe, and I know how to trust.

090909

oh nose!
i forgot to jump at 090909, 090909!
that would have made me not of this earth at that moment

anw
CHAI CHEE BAK CHOR MEE IS BACCKKKK
oh my blue son

when it disappeared i was like :'(
i tot they went for good but but but
they just moved next door only!
now revamp until v atas
got set meal, got theme
and they added a slice of abalone into the noodles
GAHHHH

run run

i'm running safsa cross next month
so for this month
boss give offs every 1, 3, 5
go macs run run

today sit on the bus
looked out the window and stoned
such a familiar feeling
a humming in my legs
and the sizzling in my butt

i've run again

sunday in camp

it's a glorious sunday afternoon to spend in camp
i've resorted to blogging to while my time away
so far i've read 4 newspapers,
beat my high score at bubble spinner
come close to my word challenge high score many times
checked on the guards
taken 45mins to eat my measly lunch
picked up single items from my office on multiple trips

so far i've succeeded in burning 5 hours
about 19 more to go
i'll try to give 12 of those to sleep
at random instances and at random places

i've ran out of newspapers
my eyes are drying up from staring at this screen
and im tired of both standing and sitting

at least if it stays this way till tomorrow morning
i can relax and grow more brain
of which of course i already have in abundance
but more wouldnt hurt my chances at breaking
my word challenge high score

`tis my first time doing a weekend one
there's nobody in camp
ghost maybe have

think i have a bbq at home later
which i wont be at cuz im stuck down here
hoping nothing happens till i hand over

lets see if i werent here
i'd probably take a rare walk down orchard road
then i'll linger around orchard boulevard at the right time
then when the clock strikes 8:22pm i'd come to attention
and recite the national pledge there and then

by the time i reach this sentence
i'd have read the above at least 8 times
for whatever reason i cannot tell
except to inspire myself to type more
and waste away another 10mins

i cant believe it takes weekend duty
to finally get myself to blog longer than 3 sms length

from now till tomorrow
i think i'll take a few long long showers
play abit of pool ALONE
play alot of word challenge and bubble spinner
re-re-re-read maybe a quarter of the bible
blog a few entries
do many chin ups
sleep at random instances at random places
oh man i got nothing left to type

McFinish

my mc finito alr
veh sad tomorrow must go work
at least its wednesday alr
then maybe thursday take off
friday as good as a half day
and friday got IHAL echo!
heh just got the sms on that
v good v good

i wld release i is got many at IHAL echo
but nowsaday no rehearsals
v hard to have any inspiration
everything at work all so monotone
no laife!
just now stare at the script many many
but nothing nothing come out

in other news
i havent been running enough
and probably cant run till end of the week or smtg
which will be duty day
then rest next day
then it'll be too late to train alr
oh mans
gahh i don wanna run 21

today i learned
that Jason Mraz's I'm Yours
is not conducive to gek sai-ing

day!

THERE'S SPONGEBOB MARATHON NOWWW
i watched like 8 episodes alr
so exciting can

but im too tired to carry on
quite sad but too bad

anw my dad saw the word spongebob
on the top right hand corner of the tv
then he asked in chinese
if it was SPONGEBOB
or SPONGE808
like sponge ba ling ba
haha quite funny

officer's sword

recently lta leoel's officer sword kena oxidise
so if one day need to use for parade
he really eat energy
so now i cleaning my one oso
need to oil it some time

wiping the blade with one of my shirts
i wondered abt the meaning of the sword
how come saf spend money every batch
to give each officer an engraved sword

i heard in older, less tactical times
like before a battle started
the officers will draw their swords
then raise it at the enemy then the men will charge

of course in 3G battles nowadays
the sword will b super in the way
it'd be shiny, noisy, cumbersome
and of course, when we sit on the field chair
the sword will very din teh

but nowsdays officers
don seem to be held in such regard anymore
esp with so many nsf 2lt like me
got no men to command
need to rapport with other ppl's men to get work done
then in the end become more like friend
at most they get awed at how fit u are
or how much pay u get each month
but that's really about it

the officer nowsaday to me ah
abit less of prestige
abit less of honor
abit less of carrying your platoon on ur shoulders
but more of doing work
more of troubleshooters
more of doing cover work

in a way is closer to the office part of officer
then where come the operational side?
go war got knowledge, got planning, got thinking is good
but no c2, no mandate
is how??
this is cannor!
but is liddat

snail burn

snail!
i saw it somewhere outside my house
so i went home
and despite my tiredness
got a spoon of salt
and went out to melt the snail
got the squeaky squeaky sound
dunno is snail melting sound
or snail screaming sound

i'm still a boy
ns havent make me boy to man yet

iHAL residue

eh i think the iHAL WDS
(wiff drawer simpsoms)
got huge effect on me
i anyhowly blog only
then all the lines come out
in that last entry

then today i caught a sight of myself
in a mirror somewhere in camp
then i realised my officer seh gone!
i was standing on one leg,
shaking the other
hands on my hips, elbows back
head cocked to one side
dunno look like what
you is know?

eh reading my recent entries
realised all bleak bleak one
not like last time
when this blog still flourishing
see la
nong nong a time ago alr say
sad sad emo emo is no one will come
but still got those ppl out there
thick eye shadow with face-covering fringe

but anws
now gonna ord
must start picking up the hweeling again

as a matter in fact
i started counting down alr
today shld be 70+ workdays left
including saturdays
a few more offs here and there
and vua la,
what is it we have here?
oooo ord personnel, i see

then i also started getting fitter
ran my 16k v v fastly today!
but im not gonna get any bigger
until at least after ahm
otherwise i will die, reanimate,
then kena exorcise

I have a lot

Saturday night was the finale of I Have A Lot
I'm having withdrawal symptoms

At the drawing of the curtains
I went around looking if anyone needed comforting
offering in jest the mummy cloth for tears
maybe a shoulder to cry on

turns out i needed some comforting myself
when i got home i started to cry
wimper even
like how i felt 2 years back
that last race, those last runs, my last 3:18

in fact, on the 2nd week of july
i realised this was gonna end
and i cherished every rehearsal
every bit and inch of I Have A Lot
i looked forward to practice after work
i lingered on after rehearsals
i took in everyone,
took in the colors we brought
to the dull looking space outside LT1

i wish i could do more for this group of ppl
and so i did I Is Got Many

i'm also very thankful i didnt fit leslie
and landed the johnny job instead
it's not that i played johnny well
but more because johnny was a part of me
way back during the happiest period of my life
i loved playing johnny
and in this God spoke and taught me so many things
i will always remember johnny now

i still say my lines when i shower
and now i spend a little more time washing off the tears
it was such a wonderful thing that God did
i can't bear to see it end like this
heaven must feel at least like this

serving God is exhilirating
i want to serve God all my life

my body is aching in various parts
some of which i never knew existed
they hurt when i move
and i'm lovin it.
lets me know im growing
for those who havent seen me for a long time
i've become this skinny dude
small, unfit and in pixelised green
running 9.03 for 2.4 at all out,
salivating down my chest pace

apart from that
i'm really quite tired out
after work go rehearsal
after rehearsal go home sleep
wake up then rinse and repeat
so took a half day off today
would have left earlier
but went to the mess to play pool
now office nobody
only got ghost

on another note i like my new earphones
very fitting and quite clear
the noise cancellation quite good also
keep having ppl tap me on the shoulder
cuz i really cldnt hear anything
now got more personal touch at work

new uniform

equipped with the new uniform today
i guess can speak abt it right
since it's so widely publicized

doesnt feel as different as i thought it would
i still cant feel the cool air
when i blow onto it
it is see through under light though

the most important thing i learnt though
was in the pants
some parts were designed to be anti-abrasion
but others were not
i guess there is some truth
when i heard recruits now cannot use uniform to camo off
cuz off the stitching that might scratch the face
because wearing the old uniform
i could do so without underpants
but apparently with the new one
some parts that weren't meant to get abrasions
because constantly expanding and contracting parts heal slower
got abrasions
i must wear underpants

baptism

i was water baptised today

i used to think it was just a dunk
notwithstanding all the symbolism
that it was just an act, a declaration
nothing more, nothing less

today walking to the pulpit
sharing my life story
taking the dunk

was magical
very, very magical
i regret not basking in it

the downside was that
my mom was non-participating again
and only a small group was there
since they detached it from the main service
meaning i couldn't share my story with more

i love you

switch off that tv.
switch off that tv!
little clowns and little shades!
weeping moms, scheming maids
noble frowns and fancy braids
and yellow sunflowers,
that bumblebee!

fan me my brimstone!
fear me now you opaque mirror
rhyming words and further, further
round and round my gypsy skips
around dazed gnomes with elvish lips
mine, mine, all mine!

stage a play and call me now
call me home and call me kenneth
call on me and i shall know
i shall know that you haved called
calling, calling, I'm calling now
i have been called!
but i have to call
nothing but to call?
call me home and call me kenneth

what a stage i am upon!
where have all the actors gone?
beyond the stars, between the moon -
giggling, smirking, pointing.
I laugh and they echo back
or is that I that echoes back?
hear me now you cheery sticks!
hear my calling and my call
which do i heed and whom to do I yield?

perhaps i have seen!
that my call has led me to.
through darkness and through night
to bring them hope to bring them light
in my stardust i can see
but nothing, and nothing beyond me
deep in the depths red eyes peep
they chatter, they chatter
to disturb my sleep;
this sleep of mine
whatever sleep this is.

i cross my arms
but I lift my hands
see me now, see me now
for who i am.

a rubric's cube is in my hands.
the myriad shifts,
the spectrum goes.
here i have,
here i have!
a jigsaw, unlikely it may be
that came together!
unlikely they were like.
oh can't you see?

sick

my dear ran a 38.8 fever with me!
same time kena the fever also
then we both have sore throat
headache
and nausea.
but i have joint pain
and she's suspected to be turning into a flying pig
because the swine flew

back

i'm back from taiwan
and even though there's no time difference
i'm suffering from some jet lag
can't get to sleep before 4

i think i lost my toothbrush on the way back
come to think of it
i haven't brushed my teeth for a few days now...
i seem to be forgetting things
moving abit slower
lesser and lesser activity
lesser and lesser health
lesser and lesser spark in the eye

this blog is rotting like xb's foot
im too lazy to put the chat box back up also
i think i blog differently from last time
im thinking of how to end this post properly
but like cannot

my officer's creed

My Officer's Creed

My duty is to lead, to excel, and to overcome
It is not to coerce, to punish, or to ease my way
My mission comes before my men
But my men must come before me

I will be the first to enter the battle
and I will be the last to leave it
I am called to fight within the darkness
But I will seek to bring light to it

I will be as impenetrable as night
But I will strike as thunder
I will respect everyone for who they are
I must in humility, act

I am an officer
I am not a slave master

TAXI RANT
i waited for a cab at 4.50
and about 30 cabs were changing shift,
busy, or just ignored me
at 5.06 i boarded a cab
and realised surcharges
start from 5 onwards
nooooooo

2 consecutive friday 13s have gone
i have come away alive with 1 light sprain
and 1 free subway sandwich voucher
what bad luck i have

anw i just woke up from a 12 hour sleep
i came home at 5 yesterday intending to do stuff
but fell straight to sleep and just woke up
v good catching up
but gonna lose it all doing duty later

last week my room was invaded by a rat
i came home to find 2 pieces of shit on my bed
2 on the floor
1 on my chair beside a puddle of piss
my dad thought they were bugs
so he picked them up and squeezed
"mmm... really is rat shit "
then as i was standing by my door
the rat ran past my feet and into my room
so i had to open the patio door to let it out
in the process i shrieked and jumped up
but that wasn't the point

birthday boy

yesterday was
happy birthday!
and happy total defence day.

i planned to spend my birthday
doing things that were very me
but like all plans they always fail

my plans began to go awry from the start;
i actually woke up way before 12pm
like ard 7+ to reach PL mrt at 9 to settle some things
following that, i recovered and did the typical thing
and walked the longer way to the bus stop
then lament at the hot weather for making me sweat so

things continued to go according to plan
when i reached home and plopped myself on the couch
things was still going well when i flipped through channels 32, 33 and 35
looking for some cartoon that i did watch
which usually have la
then i came upon double, back to back episodes
of spongebob squarepants!
however my plans crumbled before my eyes
when i watched 2 episodes i never watched before

after that went to church
and the bus actually came on time hur

left with my qiu qiu to go galvanise
at our lao di fang
then sang loud loud on my way home
got home, lobo doing nothing
then fall asleep too late

dance

i went for rehearsals today for take my hand
its err next friday!!
and today was my first session
we're doing things that require like
kicking out at least 90 degrees to the side
anyone who knows me long enough knows
that i can't touch my toes
when i saw the rehearsal programme like
starts 2 weeks before the event
i know it will all still turn out well
because everything with god always turns out well
ring ring i believe!

the homecoming

forced by circumstances (a.k.a. stadium closed)
i undertook an ardous, reluctant long run
it's been v v long since i last did one
all my running has been speed, speed, speed

today my plan was to get myself lost
then 20mins later, run home

it started off well enough
i didn't dare run too fast
and sure enough
i began turning a darker shade of blue
then i was prompted to include god in my run

and today, my run was exhilirating
thrills ran through my body and soul
pleasures coursed through my veins
pain echoed in my legs
fatigue thundered my lungs
and i've come to truly acknowledge
that all these are part of god's creation

there is the thirst,
then there is the quench
neither meaningful without the other
that is why god said
'I am who I am'
because that is most apt
and that it most enjoyable

and through everything i discovered
that I have been left dry for far too long
i've left god out of my affairs
and i've rung hollow
in today's communion with god,
i found that self that has been missing

i begin to see that we are called to live
in accordance to his will
in that we may not become one kind of christian
but we may experience uniqueness
by following his one law
we do not end up as of one nature
but of individuals, but in absolute freedom
and in this we are not bound

in the same way as i ran and tried to get lost
i always ended up heading home
no matter how i turned or direct bashed
i would come home
and then i realised,
that today, i really did come home

payday

PAYDAYYY
yay now im not peniless
and no need to rely on ppl to return money
which hansel hasnt done so
need to hang pigs head alr
but no money to buy pig head

3you 4jie 3you 2huan
4zai 4jie 3bu 2nan

owe $ pay $

job

i have a sudden craving
for leopard crawls and
fire and movement drills
do until damn shagged
curse myself for ever entertaining the thought
then enjoying the rest of my current job
then till i toy with crawling in mud again

work

yesterday
which was 40mins ago (workday!)
i learnt how to hit my cue ball straight
how to score more foosball (fuus? fools? phoos?) goals
i learned how to defend your air hockey goal better