splash

"here comes a big one"
the two half-crouch, anticipating the approachinbg juggernaut. it zips past them, causing shockwaves of water in its wake to come at the two. with precise judgement and stupendous athletism, they leap high into the air, expertly avoiding the treacherous waves.

but that was not to be

"wah shit big one big one lai liao lai liao"
the lumbering bus speeds towards them at break neck speed, parting the puddles and conjuring up waves of dirty water that swallowed pavements. as the waves approached, the pair hopped meekly into the air, trying in vain to keep dry amidst all the splashing and slushing, much to the amusement of the passengers in the passing buses.
"nb ccb kena already la"

and that was the story of how xide and i
tried to keep dry

trapped under the overhead train tracks
at bt timah,
the rain poured down as curtains on either side
soon, the roads began to flood with water and traffic
which inevitably led to vehicle-splash-man
xide and i cowered under the shelter of the bridge
jumping over every splash that came our way
xide cursed the living daylights out of the undead
while i, being immensely cultured,
kept veeerrrryyyy quiet. shhhh.

all was bleak
until xides maid,
in an act of splendid initiative
and armed with not one
but two umbrellas
found us in our miserable state

xide said it but i'll say it again
give the woman a pay rise man

kenneth seet

1 word -
OH MY SHIT

hmmm. 1... 2... 3...
err 3 words.
but the truth bears repeating -
OH MY SHIT

and oh my shit is right
why?
because kenneth seet has struck

i await with abated breath
to see seet's next move
then i will decide to strike or not

depending on the subject's course of action,
the next 6 entries in this blog
will become dedicated to hurling insults
at one very special kenneth seet

one word man seet -
delete

cross

i just read seet's blog
about his 2yr cross journey thus far

it stirred up something in me
which prompted me to blog this

he's right
it has been a long, 2 years since he came
you know ppl say when u're having fun,
time flies.
mmm.
k that didnt come out right.
ok la seet's not that bad la.
but still abit bad. just abit.

to make things clear,
apart from being yr5,
seet's a junior in everything cross.
in fact, he's a december baby
so he's still junior

he's been around for 2yrs
while the cabinet 5.
he's noob at sprinting, dota and soccer,
not to mention everything else we do
even in the long distance running department
cuz victor tan powns us all

but of course, ib teaches us to show both sides
for that, he does top our charts
for the "most likely member to have sex"

but being junior doesn't really matter at all
being part of the team does
it doesnt matter if you're a big piece or a small one
we all form the complete jigzaw that is acx
we all matter. and you all matter.

model

for every highly paid model
there is one that works for free
not for the lack of looks
but for the abundance of kindness

and that model is me
nah just kidding
or am i leading u to thinking that im kidding you?

it all started one day
when mr low, not his real name,
father of low xide,
also not his real name,
decided to diversify his income
by setting up a new handphone company
is that right?

anw, models were needed for advertising
but perhaps too costly for a budding company
therefore low xide was deployed
to scouse the land for willing
but able volunteers
and eventually chanced,
stupendously chanced
upon the gems that turned up
namely, and very importantly, me.
of course there were also
vish, caijing jingci and sam (is that it?)
to give the man credit,
i would include him as a gem as well

for every selected model
there is one unselected one
not for the lack of assignments
but for the abundance of desperation

and that came in the form
of (not their real names)
seet, victor, nice
and changming/audds/him/her/it/idunknow
and especially nice and audds
who came, sat for a few hours and went home
the other two just appeared and pigged
alot. ALOT.

newaez the meeting time was 0930
which was terribly early
considering we put make up only at around 11
and that the entire thing started -
the thing being an initial photoshoot
that unfolded into a full scale clip
that goes on i dunno where
by i dunno who
starting i dunno when -
at only 2pm. ONLY. nbccb

anw it was quite fun
apparently only for me
the rest didnt really enjoy it
esp for xide who looked really scared of the cam
i didnt have to do much tho
just sleep on the couch and look stupid

so anw, perhaps to the digust of my fellow crew
i will post the clip here when its up
so wait. patiencely.

model

for every highly paid model
there is one that works for free
not for the lack of looks
but for the abundance of kindness

and that model is me
nah just kidding
or am i leading u to thinking that im kidding you?

it all started one day
when mr low, not his real name,
father of low xide,
also not his real name,
decided to diversify his income
by setting up a new handphone company
is that right?

anw, models were needed for advertising
but perhaps too costly for a budding company
therefore low xide was deployed
to scouse the land for willing
but able volunteers
and eventually chanced,
stupendously chanced
upon the gems that turned up
namely, and very importantly, me.
of course there were also
vish, caijing jingci and sam (is that it?)
to give the man credit,
i would include him as a gem as well

for every selected model
there is one unselected one
not for the lack of assignments
but for the abundance of desperation

and that came in the form
of (not their real names)
seet, victor, nice
and changming/audds/him/her/it/idunknow
and especially nice and audds
who came, sat for a few hours and went home
the other two just appeared and pigged
alot. ALOT.

newaez the meeting time was 0930
which was terribly early
considering we put make up only at around 11
and that the entire thing started -
the thing being an initial photoshoot
that unfolded into a full scale clip
that goes on i dunno where
by i dunno who
starting i dunno when -
at only 2pm. ONLY. nbccb

anw it was quite fun
apparently only for me
the rest didnt really enjoy it
esp for xide who looked really scared of the cam
i didnt have to do much tho
just sleep on the couch and look stupid

so anw, perhaps to the digust of my fellow crew
i will post the clip here when its up
so wait. patiently.

blogging

i feel like blogging today but i dunno what to blog about. today there was training, lanning, and going home but i dun feel like blogging about any of them. they were eventful and mostly funful, but for some reason i cannot explain myself i dun feel like blogging about those. instead i would like to blog on something deeper, something that would boost my ego when ppl read and say wahhhh chims sia. however no such topic floats in my mind as of now and truth to be told, rarely ever does. perhaps that is my own deep thought. i think so deeply i realise it is useless to think deeply. hmmm. i'm contradicting myself, but that in itself is questionable and i think it qualifies as deep. perhaps i am a budding philosopher. if u dun think so then it could be due to the superficiality of your feeble mind that u cannot see the magnificence of my wonderful and splendid intellect. there. i am deep. deeper than the oceans that stretch themselves over the earth, deeper than the assholes that exist on total assholes on the surface of this planet. and that is really deep.

but alas, i am kidding myself. i possess no such genius. or so i am trying to lead u to think. a-hah. could it be a trap that i am laying that would cause you to underestimate me as did stalin's opponents that would result in my eventual rise to whatever power i am hoping to achieve. or it could be not.

i realise it has been a bore reading this post and i assure you it is not the end. some call me the epitomy of rubbish and boredom, yet some percieve it as words of wisdom that most cannot fathom. whatever the case, you are tired of reading this entry, and will be deterred because you see how long this entry is. as i typed the previous sentence you realise there was nothing beneath it, and displays my faultless prediction of the things that are to come. i will type alot.

there are many things i thread closely on in life. i believe in diffusion, i believe in the way nature works. i believe that to stop an egg from falling off the table to the floor, put the egg on the floor. i believe in balance, which is in effect, diffusion. and i also believe that i can change anything. mostly. some mostly. which brings me to the end of this entry.

by now you would have been diffused by this entry. some of me going into you. notice nothing is coming from you to me. therefore by my way of life, i am diffusing into you, and that can only mean i have a higher concentration of wisdom than u do. or rubbish. but i prefer to call my nonsense wisdom because no one said nonsense wasn't wisdom.

but now i have yet again contradicted myself. at the end of the paragraph before this, i said i was at the end of the entry. but i am not. and this shows my inability to predict future happenings. which contradicts myself. the following paragraph will illustrate the pattern that i am thinking along as i blog this entry.

this is a word. but that was a phrase. which... has turned into a sentence. but i have just reached a few lines. but hey look, i've typed a paragraph. and as i type, it just gets longer and longer and longer and longer. oh look it's a very long paragraph. perhaps it will soon qualify as an essay. and by the word of the prophesy this shall become a novel!

and this was not a novel. if u are not confused by this entry i applaud your will to remain sane. or to remain insane. ah-hah. i think this entry is very useful for tok. ibo should adopt this extract for textbook reference.

peoples

today i met many peoples while i was out
im blogging about it
cuz its the most ever in one day
here's how it started

i wash my hands at harbourfront mrt toilet
a familiar figure wearing toysrus shirt approaches
clement, who used to look more yandao greeted me

as i began to exit harbourfront mrt
a big, botak chimpanzee lumbered in my direction
i saw the look of terror return to tiezheng's eyes
as he chanced his eyes upon my wonderful splendour
strafing and keeping to the wall,
he hurled insults at me as he made his escape

exiting the floating bookshop at vivo
i spot alistair giving out fliers
he looks at me and for at least 6 seconds
ransacks his mind to remember who i was
before acknowledging my wonderful presence

with him, but formerly unnoticed
due to the covering tentage,
was the bane of all eyes bose

just seconds later as i descended from the stairs
a few of the council sat there,
staring at me, calling my name
at least 12 times before i realised and responded

next up the escalator at vivo
was charissa i-dun-come-for-training

sitting there and just being asked to do a survey
someone out of sight suddenly plopped beside me
strangely closely
i turned, and to the dazzle of my eyes
was darren chiew with his piercing complexion
that stunned my pupils
and placed in me a sudden desire to buy oakleys
for that, he was divinely punished
and was made to do the survey as well

finally sitting at queensway bus stop
my sweeping eyes caught sight of jordan tan,
who made me grateful for eyelids to cover one's sight.
his unusually inanimated self brought back memories
where classmates claimed he was quieter with girls around
hmmm. history class no girls meh?

today

this morning was a mad rush to school
i was late for history re-exam

amidst all the rushing,
i found time to despair, shaking my head
thinking "im history man"

at 0810, i was 10mins late
with tenacity like fart released after 20mins of holding in,
i ran like a cheetah after whatever it eats
towards the designated classroom
i pounced on the door handle like a rugby player towards the touchline
and pressed it down like a horny man on his lover's lalala

lo and behold

the classroom was dead empty
i was 3 hrs early
!@#$%^&*()_+{}|:"<<>
oh sorry cockroach ran across the keyboard
while i was holding down the shift button

fast forward to after re-exam

joined the ppl doing cas
to go beyond the borders of the school
to do the beyond borders cas project
a familiar knock on hdb door
and ask for newspaper and clothes project

we scoured the plains of dover rise
scaling stairs and lugging the collections
all the while with a smile on our jolly faces
listening to ian cheong talk in his dillusional world
with his own voice resonating in a land
where the little ian cheongs ran amock

disturbing imagery

anw block 1 was rather interesting
11-309 held a resident familiar to the acx family
our infant assistant coach, paulus
or balless as seet calls him
(although kenneth seet
also doubles up as cannot shit)
opened the door to low xide's knocks

also, there was this unbelievable stack
of newspapers lying beside the stairs
it had more volume than seet's body
k i was tempted to use victor tan
but i have to be honest,
the hdb wasnt made from newspaper
anw that pile of papers had us call in the holy relic
also known as the school trolley to carry it away

fast forward to after cas

seet nice and xide embarked on their respective missions
to snip off as much hair as they could from each others head
it all started with kevin cutting off ppls hair
sniggering all the while like the sneaky mut he is
seet and xide basically took revenge
and eventually they cut each other's hair in the cross fire

obvious blades of blunt hair stood out from the respective heads
and one unfortunate testicle
kenneth khing, with his unfaulted positioning
and manouevering abilities,
avoided all attempts by the 3 musketeers to cut his hair
the closest any of them came was a move by kenneth seet
who would have succeeded if not for the lack of sprinting practice
evident during training, chasing of bus 74 at holland v
and of course in the case of chasing after my perfect pantene hair
the times he did manage to get someone's hair,
was all due to his ability to blink strike cuz he's too short to spot

fast forward somemore

made an uneusual trip to nice's house
played with nice, xide and nice friends at nice house
had some nice plays, nice kicks and some nice balls going around
fun fun + fun

fast forward

khing sleeps

rewind

khing clicks on publish post
*click!*

xides house

its 6 plus now in the morning
and the handful of us are at xide's house
theres was potluck for dinner
at first there was an idiot who volunteered to bring apples
but in the end it turned out to be cookies
not so idiot but stupid nonetheless
i bet they were bought

anw we played games too
i for one played too much dota
its easy to play alot when u win
WIN YES WIN
just a few small losses here and there
not much la
2 to xide, 1 to kevin (with xide), 2 to horny
its a very respectable ratio and i'm proud of it

its 6am and my brains not functioning properly
which means now im at my most logically sound
which tells me that i should sleep now
cuz there's tuition to come soon. very soon.
even as i type this entry, tuition draws close.
i can feel it now.
it feels like something ppl never really put in words
i dun wan go tuition la
so heng one... one after the other
last times also liddat

im hungry. will pester xide now.
after. i. take. a. short. nap.

template change

tempy change tempy change
tot bloggy was due a set of new clothes
the last i change tempy was 20april05
which, is quite long ago

anw nice not
the drawing not very ideal
but its quite some effort
maybe i'll change it after a while
but for now, it'll stay this way
and its not random scribble k!